A less-than-fragrant memory

Fay White

Where it Happened

Revulsion at the memory
Of that horrible smelly place,
Where overcome with the urge
Out there you would race!

Where you took a kero lantern,
In rain or hail at night
And prayed there were no spiders
To give a heck of a fright.

There never was a toilet roll,
Hanging on a silver ring,
Just squares of old newspaper
Tied up with bits of string.

Why tourists are obsessed with Dunnies
I'll never understand,
'cos personally I thought them
the worst place in the land.

Then the old folk were in shock
At a toilet in the house.
“How unhygienic, how embarrassing –
You'll need to be as quiet as a mouse!”

Well, I'll stick with the ensuite.
No more avoiding Wednesday's Can Man,
Or nightmares of falling in –
I'll sell my backyard dunny
To tourists from Japan!